“To remember is to disengage from the present.”
Lately you cannot go anywhere without the reminder to be present, but do we have to “be present” all the time? Maybe thinking about the past is a form of self-care.
In a world where our attention is pulled in all different directions, sometimes we need a break. What a better break from reality than to think about or remember the past.
Especially with the holiday season on the horizon, I find myself thinking more and more about the past. Remembering the traditions, laughter, and things that made this time of year so special. But more importantly than the physical things, I find myself thinking about one person, my grandmother.
She was a remarkable woman, who was born in the midst of the great depression to German immigrant parents. She grew up on the east coast and came of age during WW2. To say that she entered adulthood following a period of great adversity is an understatement.
Yet, given her tumultuous upbringing she made her way to the west coast where she got married, became an operating room nurse, and raised three children. Her children grew up, had careers, and eventually families of their own.
I can only guess as to what my grandma would say is her greatest accomplishment, but what I do know is that Emily was the quintessential definition of grandmother. She spoiled her grandchildren every chance that she got. Whether it was letting us eat too many oreos before bed or letting us go with her to splash around during aqua aerobics, the fact remains that she did everything she could to make our lives special. BUT more than anything she loved the holidays and made this time of year a season to remember.
For as long as I can remember my grandma would take us to Snoopy on Ice. This is exactly what you would think, the cast of Snoopy skating to Christmas songs with fun and adorable antics mixed in. This also meant that we got to enjoy some of the best hot cocoa and visit the Snoopy store where we could purchase whatever we wanted (within the budget).
As you can guess, these experiences going to the Snoopy Show each year made me come to look forward to the holiday season each year. However, more than the joy I experienced dressing up to attend the show or the Peanuts collection that I amassed over my childhood, my grandma made this time of year memorable. We always had fresh apple sauce and German pancakes on Christmas as well as an exorbitant amount of presents. We were so spoiled that our grandma even started a tradition called table gifts, which were small presents set on the Christmas morning table so that we could open a small gift while we waited for the main event.
Each year my memories of the holiday season come rushing back. Even though I am not someone who starts decorating early, I do whatever I can to enjoy the holiday season in full force. This means listening to Christmas music on the radio, watching holiday movies, spending too much on holiday presents, and taking full advantage of the season.
Even though my grandma passed away in 2006, I cannot celebrate the holiday season without remembering her. Although my memories are sometimes difficult and give me somewhat unrealistic expectations of this time of year, they bring me tremendous joy.
This year I lost a few very special people and while I can get caught up in my memories, it is the memories of the people I love and have lost that remind me of what’s important…spending time and spreading joy to your loved ones.
It is true that “to remember is to disengage from the present”. But as the weight of our responsibilities, lives, and the world becomes too heavy (and sometimes unbearable), these memories give me the push I need to spend time spreading joy. So maybe instead of focusing so intently on being present, we need to stop, disengage from the present, and remember.